imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
