you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize