ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
