I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
