i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
