Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
