Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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