It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
