Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
