i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
