Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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