make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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