Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
