***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
