margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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