she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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