i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Its about making memories worth repressing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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