So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
