how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
