he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
