my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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