did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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