I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's rum buckets o'clock
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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