I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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