You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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