I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
