You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize