Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
