It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
