When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
