party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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