i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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