have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
