There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
