I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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