You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
