Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
