I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
