I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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