i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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