I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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