I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
