Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
