who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Soap is not a condiment
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
