we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
