I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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