you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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