Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
