dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
