I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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