Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
