Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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