He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
