fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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