if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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